Whiskers

Howard was 21 when we married and I found hair on his pillow in the mornings. Straight and black.  It didn’t grow back, but that didn’t matter because sailors had very short hair.  But in a few years, it became apparent he was balding.  He wished he could grow a beard, but didn’t think he had enough on his chin to grow one.  But he gave it a try while we lived in Concordia, and was pleased with the result. 

Several years later, he was driving some teens to Springfield MO to visit a college, and I drove our kids to Lyons.  His mom had a bad heart episode and was taken to the hospital; the doctor thought it was serious enough that her children needed to be there.  When I told him Howard was on the road, he had me call the Highway Patrol and give them the car tag number.  They pulled him over and sent him back to Lyons.  When he walked into her room, she opened her eyes and said “What is that thing on your face!”

By the time we moved into the Kansas City area, hair-pieces for men had come into style, and Howard began wearing one that matched what hair he had: straight and black.  After it wore out he eventually purchased a curly one and he looked good! 

We visited David & Shannon in Hawaii in 1984 (David was in the Navy) and Howard decided not to wear the piece while he was on vacation.  (He got a perm in his remaining hair so the hair-piece would fit correctly.) 

When it wore out, he decided he’d just go bald.  We were going to Northland Cathedral by then.  He missed a Sunday or two and stopped shaving.  Several people remarked that his beard and sideburns looked good.  But one of his elderly friends looked at him, and was worried about the baldness, so he asked, “Brother Howard, have you been sick?”  Howard laughed and said, “No, I just stopped wearing my hair-piece!”  Leonard was astonished and said he’d really admired Howard’s beautiful hair.  I don’t know how many times he’d tell me how amazed he had been.

We liked to go out and about on Saturdays, and have lunch.  Once we went into a Subway for sandwiches.  As we walked in, two young boys were sitting with their dad, and I saw their eyes open wide when they saw that gray beard, and they whispered to each other.  I just know they thought they were seeing Santa out-of-uniform.  Howard greeted them with a grin, his usual way when he saw kids. Another time, we had lunch in a Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant.  As we were leaving, a young man caught Howard’s eye and asked, “Sir, has anyone ever told you that you look like Colonel Sanders?”

11Mar15

Vegas!

When we moved out of Alaska in 2004, I said I’d never fly again, because of all the complications it involves.  It took me 10 years to change my mind.  Larry now lives in Las Vegas NV through the week, because he works there.  He phones me once a week as he waits in the Albuquerque Sun Port.  In one conversation he said I ought to fly out and visit him.  The more I thought about it, the better it sounded, even though it would be even more complicated than ever.  Jan helped me get aboard the plane in Kansas City and Larry met me in Las Vegas and helped me.  My walker went as luggage, so I used a wheelchair in both airports, to speed things.  (When I left, it was visa versa, of course.)  Larry said there are always planes in sight in Vegas; McCarran airport is very large, with two monorails.  I agree with him.

The only time I had ever been in Las Vegas was when we drove through there in 1967, and let me tell you, the changes are astounding.  The December weather was moderate, not hot as it is in summer…. In ’67, it was so hot I felt like I had a fever.  Interstate Highway 15 is now “The Strip” as one goes through the city.  Hard to believe how many buildings populate just a few miles.  Huge hotels, an Eiffel Tower look-alike, a tall Ferris wheel and so on.  Glad Larry was driving so I could gawk!  We had lunch in the Bellagio mall, which was all decked out for Christmas.

Like many other cities, the urban area includes Paradise, Enterprise, Henderson, and Las Vegas itself.  Larry lives in Enterprise.  When we were out after dark, the lights spread into the residential areas, looking like shiny diamond necklaces in the dry high-desert air. 

After church on Sunday, we drove out of Vegas and into the Red Rock Canyon National Conservation Area. It was an amazing drive: out of the urban area and into desert, rocks, all kinds of cactus, mountains, and so on.  We drove the scenic 13-mile trail; an enjoyable trip.  Not all the rocks are red; most are brownish, making the reddish parts very noticeable.  Larry and his son Jason and his wife Karissa enjoy rock-climbing and baby Evelyn has her own seat in her mom’s backpack.  They live in Oregon, but come to visit now and then.

My trip back to Kansas City was unusual.  After all the passengers were loaded, the door closed, and the plane was backing out of the gate - when the Captain announced that there was a warning light in the cockpit, and we were returning to the gate.  A short time later he said that the problem affected one of the landing gears.  It would take a while to fix, so he had ordered another plane for us.  So we all de-planed and returned to the waiting area.  I was back in a wheelchair, loaded with my carry-ons (CPAP and laptop computer).  Soon an attendant wheeled me to the new loading area, and I re-planed.  The process took an hour or so, thus  we ran behind all day.  Our stopover in Albuquerque went smoothly, and off we flew to Kansas City.  Our airport is much smaller than the one in Vegas – but it’s more scenic:  our runway went by a pasture, so we were welcomed by a calm herd of black cattle!  The delay caused our chosen gate to be changed, and another was found.  Janet was not a happy camper!  I’d texted her to be sure to watch the times posted around KCI for my flight… but the gate was changed after she looked.  At last we connected in the luggage area and she got the car loaded.  We headed for the closest Quick Trip for snacks… all I had eaten all day was an egg sandwich for breakfast in Vegas plus 2 little sacks of nuts and some tiny cookies and pretzels aboard the plane.

Winds and Waves

Recently my sister, Pat Crawford, came by for a visit.  She lives in Hutchinson (Hutch) KS and had been in Seattle, so Janet met her plane and brought Pat and 13-yr-old Chloe to rest before driving home.

Pat and I got to talking about when our Mom went to heaven in 2004 at age 91.  Mom had been living in the Good Samaritan Nursing Home in Lyons KS for 8 years; she got acquainted with many people, including the staff – she had quite a sense of humor.  In March ’04, her health went downhill fast, and she was moved to the Lyons Hospital.  The doctor told Pat that she should notify the family.

Our brother Leon and wife Roberta are both RNs and drove to Lyons in a hurry. Leon took one look at Mom and said “We’ve got to get hold of Marge & Howard.”

We lived in Klawock, Alaska, where Howard had been the pastor of Prince of Peace Assembly; he had resigned and we were preparing to move home to Kansas, leaving the first of May.  Leon told Howard that Mom was failing and that if I wanted to see her, I’d better be quick about it!  So I started packing, and Howard got on the phone and began ordering tickets.  Two ferry tickets and two plane tickets.  (Ferry from Prince of Wales Island over to Ketchikan, then the small airport ferry.  From there, Alaska Air to Seattle, then another to get me to Kansas City.)  Howard drove me to Hollis, the Island ferry dock. It was a tight schedule, but we’d done it before with no problems.

Then things really got complicated – the winds were fairly calm as we left Hollis, because of the smaller islands, but as the ship approached the open ocean channel, the wind-driven waters began rocking us.  The captain opened the loud speaker and announced, “Folks, these waves are too high, so we’re got to stall for a while.  We will circle a few times, and hope things will quiet a little.  Don’t worry, we’ll try our best to meet our schedule.”

This really worried me, because my mother was dying and wanted to see me.  So I began to pray, quoting Matthew 8:23-27, and confessed “Lord, You know I don’t have the kind of faith to still the waters like You did.  So please do it for us so I’ll be there to get over to the Ketchikan airport in time to catch the flight to Seattle.”

God answered my prayer!  The ocean was still very rough and we all held onto our seats, but we got there in time!

Janet met me at the Kansas City airport and we drove the 4 hours out to Lyons on March 31 in time to visit a bit with Mom.  By then I was exhausted, so I went out to Pat’s house and went to sleep.  Jan woke me just past midnight to tell me Mom had gone to heaven.  It was April 1^st.  Mom had been saying she’s probably die on the first of April because our Dad went to heaven on April 1, 1982.

Howard had purchased my return ticket for about 10 days later, so on my birthday, April 7, I went to the Rice County Courthouse and got my Kansas driver’s license. 

As I flew back into Ketchikan, my daughter-in-law Shannon and granddaughter Halee were coming in from Texas on another flight.  They got to visit Shannon’s family in Klawock.  Then she drove our Subaru and Howard drove the Toyota pickup out of Alaska on May 4^th, leaving behind many wonderful friends. 

I was having anxiety problems and was too nervous to drive.  Our 2-vehicle convey split near Denver; Howard went on to Kansas City so he and Janet could set up our newly-manufactured house.  The girls and I went on to Alpine TX, their home.  By the middle of July I had calmed enough to drive to Kansas City, where our new home and a big bouquet of flowers and a grinning husband and daughter met me.  8-14-14

Pray

I’ve been thinking about prayer.  It’s important to me to keep in touch with God the Father, God the Son (Jesus), and the Holy Spirit, so I pray in a structured manner in the morning and again at bedtime.  Throughout the day I pray informally as thoughts come along.  My prayer at night incorporates Psalm 4:8, “I will lie down and sleep in peace, for You, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.”

My morning prayer is the one Jesus taught His disciples – I memorized it from Matthew 6 in the King James Version when I was about 10 years old.  But as I began reading it for my morning prayer, I have realized it is actually written in sentences, not as verses, and that changes the meaning somewhat. 

I had always wondered why God would lead me into temptation, but now I see that He allows me to face it but gives me the choice to follow Him instead yielding to it.

As I close my prayers, I thank the Lord in the Name of Jesus, because without His death and resurrection, I would be without hope in eternity.

There are many translations of The Holy Bible online at www.biblegateway.com.  Today I was comparing the above scriptures in the King James Version, the International Version, and several of the Catholic versions… they differ very little from each other.  How about that!

See you next time.  Marge, 02-25-14

Faith & Trust

Buddy is Janet’s dog.  So she’s “top dog” when she’s in the house.  But if she’s out and about, I’m in charge (sort of).  When he wants to go out, he’ll stand confidently by the door, nose against the opening, wagging his tail.  He has faith in my ability to open the door, and he trusts me to do so.  When he wants back in, the process is reversed (that’s when he wants to be in charge).  The old saying “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks” is wrong.  Buddy keeps an eye on us and if we change the timing of his meals and snacks, he remembers the ones he likes and makes it clear that he wants to continue them.

I think Buddy illustrates trust more than faith.

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Hebrews 11:1, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

In the '80s, Howard helped Gaye Wood conduct Children’s Worship at Northland Cathedral.  The kids called them “Aunt Gaye” and “Uncle Ho.”  When I attended, I was “Aunt Marge.”

When Howard woke up one morning, his face felt odd, so he asked me to look at it.  One side was drooping – it was a case of Bell’s Palsy.  Then a day or two later, the Palsy (paralysis) moved to the other side of his face, so he went back to the doctor, who said that was rare.  I don’t recall if he put Howard on medication or not.  The next Sunday, he told Aunt Gaye why he looked so odd.  She immediately called on the kids to surround Uncle Ho and pray that God would heal him.  They prayed fervently because they all loved him.

When Howard woke up Monday morning, his face was back to normal.  God had answered the kids’ prayers.  It was done in response to their faith.  The paralysis usually lasts several weeks.

Matthew 11:25, “At that time Jesus said, ‘I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children.’” 

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The following illustrates Faith and Trust, with a lot of Hope mixed in!

In March of 2004, we were preparing to move back to Kansas after living on Prince of Wales Island in southeast Alaska for 5 years while Ho was pastor of Prince of Peace Assembly of God in Klawock.  My mother had been in a nursing home for 9 years – she was 91 – and she was in the hospital because her health was failing.  My brother Leon called Howard, telling him that if I wanted to see Mom before she passed away and because she wanted to see me, I needed to come right away.  I started packing while Howard made ferry and plane reservations.

Ho drove me across the island to the ferry terminal in Hollis, then went back to Klawock. Aboard the ferry, we encountered a storm and the ship began to “rock and roll” – not a good feeling!  Soon the captain made the decision to circle, hoping the storm would let up before we entered open water, where the waves were far more severe.  If the storm continued we might have to go back to Hollis.

This really concerned me, because if the ferry didn’t reach Ketchikan in time, I would miss my first flight to Seattle and probably the second one to Kansas City.  I began to pray, thinking of what Jesus had said, that if we had faith we could move mountains.  I told the Lord that I did not have that kind of faith, but that I knew He had the power to calm the storm enough that we could reach Ketchikan, and indeed we did get there, although it was a rough voyage.  Then I caught the airport ferry and got aboard the Alaska Air Flight to Seattle in time to make my connection to Kansas City.  Janet drove me to Lyons KS in time for me to have my last visit with Mom.  She went to heaven early on April 1, 2004. 04-FEB-14

~~First Year~~

Howard has been in Heaven for a year now.  I had been preparing myself for Dec. 8 – sort of dreading it.  But it was better than I could have hoped.  Prince of Peace Assembly of God in Klawock, Alaska invited me to join them for morning worship by way of Skype.  (It was about 2PM here in Kansas.)  What a treat that was!  Wonderful to see many of my friends; got to visit with some of them.

Brian Templin preached a good sermon while Pastor Bob Girt handled the technical stuff.  Then Pastor Girt moved in front of the camera and told me that the church is donating a new coffeemaker to the school cafeteria.  It is inscribed “This Keurig is placed in honor of Pastors Howard & Marjorie Marshall, who lovingly served this community, 1999-2004.”  “With sincere love and appreciation – Prince of Peace Assembly of God.”

They couldn’t have made a better choice!  Howard enjoyed lunching in the school cafeteria about once a week so he could visit with the kids (all ages), teachers, and staff members. I’d go to their fund-raising dinners sometimes – to enjoy the Indian tacos, made with fry-bread.

Jan and I will miss Howard most on Christmas Eve, because that was when he would read Luke 2:8-20, and pray for all of our families. He’d be wearing his “Humbug” hat, but then we’d open our gifts to each other.  The two of us won’t do it alone this year… we’ll have guests… maybe we can get one of them to read the scripture; we’ll see.  But the Humbug hat won’t be used.  19.Dec.13

Sunlight

My favorite time in school was when I was 9-10 and in Fourth Grade.  We got to be upstairs at Park School.  Kindergarten, First, Second and Third were on the lower level.  Fourth, Fifth, Sixth and Music were on the upper level. 

Miss Bolton was our teacher, and she introduced us to “long division” in math, read “Winnie the Pooh” to us, and best of all, taught us geography.  I really enjoyed learning about other parts of the world and the people who lived there.  Maps fascinated me, especially when Miss Bolton told us that all flat maps were not quite true, because the earth is round.  She also explained that the earth tilts, which causes seasons because when the earth rotates toward the sun, each part of Earth gets a different slant of sunlight.  We learned that the sun doesn’t actually rise and set, but Earth does the moving.

I still have a difficult time “picturing” this in my mind.  Even when I purchased a small globe, which stands about 12”high.  (There’s a lot of good information printed on it. Things like the Tropic of Cancer, which is where the sun looks on December 22^nd.  The sun looks at the Tropic of Capricorn on June 22^nd.)

“Google Earth” wasn’t available in 1944, or even dreamed of.  I just now looked for Kansas City on it and learned that I live 39 degrees north of the Equator, and 94 degrees west of the Prime Meridian (Greenwich).  That means the sun appears to make an arc above us from sunrise to sunset, a long arc in the summer and a short arc in winter.  In fact that’s true for most of the main part of the USA. Therefore, it’s normal – right?  Wrong!

In the spring of 1998, Howard and I flew to Anchorage, Alaska, enroute to Emmonak, AK where Howard was to be interim pastor of a small church for 5 months.  In Anchorage we visited with Jim & Linda Schulz, who told us what all we’d see and do in Emmonak. Knowing that part of northern Alaska has daylight all summer, I asked Jim if Emmo was in that part. He said it is, but the sun appears to fall below the horizon there.  According to Google Earth, Emmonak is 62 degrees north of the Equator, and 164 degrees west of Greenwich.  Quite a distance between Kansas City and Emmonak, which is about 9 miles from the Bering Sea.

Farther north, above the Arctic Circle, the sun stays above the horizon all day long. Jim told me that the sun appears to make an oval, not an arc. (You can see a time-lapse photo here: www.alaska-in-pictures.com/midnight-sun-1103-pictures.htm)  By the way, the Arctic Ocean is not ice-covered during the summer, although coats are needed. 

The pastor’s residence in Emmo is on the 2^nd floor of the church, and there are windows on each side wall of the building.  Deciding to test what was happening one sunny day, I looked at the floor near the east window in the morning and saw the sunlight was shining straight in.  About noon, I checked the south window and the sun was shining straight in.  In the evening, I went to the west window, and the sun was shining in.  About midnight, I went to the north window, and the sun was shining straight in.  So there was my proof – it appeared to circle the house!  Amazing.

It was difficult to sleep with all that light, so Howard taped black trash bags over the bedroom windows.  I think it was mid-August by the time it was actually got dark at night again, and it was surprisingly restful.

We left the end of September, but I’ve read that sometime in November, the sun disappears and leaves twilight in its wake, and doesn’t show up again until February.  Down in the Antarctic Ocean area, the process is reversed, further proof that Earth isn’t flat.  17.Nov.13

Pizza

Howard was a Boy Scout and advanced as high as a young man could, to Eagle Scout.  Shortly after he graduated from Lyons High School, he and other Scouts went to the National Boy Scout Jamboree  It was held in Valley Forge near Gettysburg, Pennsylvania and they all traveled by train – this was in 1950.  They toured New York City and Chicago too. 

While all this was going on, the Korean War began.  Howard decided he’d join the US Navy when he got home – several of his cousins had served in the Navy.  My brother Carl Seaton had already enlisted in the US Army.

I’ve copied the following from the draft of Howard’s autobiography, which he named “An Incredible Journey.”  25-Oct-13

First Liberty

            One of the last things Mom told me when I left home for the Navy was “…Son, please don’t get a tattoo.”  Three of us left the base together and headed for “town.”  We had never been in San Diego before and there were literally thousands of sailors and marines roaming the downtown area of San Diego.  Once off base a bus ride takes you right to the YMCA.  In it everything is provided to make service personnel feel at home… game rooms, swimming pools, free food, library and even a dormitory for week end liberties.  Across the street was a tattoo parlor.  The three of us decided we wanted to get tattooed and I conveniently forgot about my Mom’s appeal and got my left arm tattooed.  I didn’t get one that was too drastic…just my initials “HWM.”  Upon getting mine done, I was feeling light-headed and before putting my jumper on I went outside and passed out.  I know people thought I was drunk but I was not.  The other guys got a real charge out of me not being able to take it.  Only one of the other guys got tattooed.

            One of the things we were taught when meeting or passing any Military officer was to salute and say “…By your leave, Sir!”  These buddies and I were walking down the street in front a hotel and I saw this man in dress uniform and I saluted and did what I was supposed to do only to find out he was a “bell boy” for the hotel.  We got a good laugh out of it though it did make me feel silly but better be safe than sorry.  Right?

          We were then ready to find something to eat.  One of the sailors was from St. Joseph, Missouri and he said “…Let’s get a pizza.”  I am from the middle of Kansas and I had never heard of pizza.  We found a pizza parlor that was downstairs there on Broadway.  We each ordered a large pizza, remember I had never seen one, and a side order of spaghetti, and I think garlic bread, which I had never had before.  I could not believe my eyes when the food came out.  The other two sailors knew what they were getting and had a good laugh at me for they knew we could not eat all of that food.  We didn’t either!  From An Incredible Journey, Chapter 12, by Howard W. Marshall (Unpublished)

Memories

My sister Pat was born in Superior, Nebraska, whereas the rest of us Seaton Kids were born in Lyons, Kansas.  Interesting story… I recently found a slide of the little old farm house where we lived in 1947, not far from the Kansas/Nebraska state line.  The photo was probably taken in the late fifties as we traveled Hwy. 14 from Kansas to South Dakota, to visit Howard’s sister Marcille and family.  The house was vacant by then and was later demolished to make room for Lovewell Reservoir on the Republican River.

My dad and mom had been dreaming of buying a farm for several years.  Dad was raised near Branson, Missouri, which is rocky land, so he wanted to raise crops; he’d rented land a couple of times, and liked doing it. They’d searched through the United Farms catalogs and finally found what they wanted.  They sold the house and we moved north from Lyons to rural Mankato in the spring, so Dad could plant the corn crop.  Mom was expecting a baby in mid-June, so that was part of the decision too.

After we settled in – no electricity, no plumbing – the corn got planted.  And the rainy season began, and washed the fields clean.  So Dad replanted, and lots more rain came.  In the meantime, it became time for Pat to be born.  She came a couple of weeks early, fortunately, because otherwise the trip to the hospital would have taken much longer because the Hwy 14 bridge was underwater on the due date.

Once the land dried sufficiently, Dad replanted the corn.  No more rain, and the crop blew away with the dust.  With 5 kids to support, Dad made the decision to move back to Lyons and work where he would be paid regularly.  He bought an old 1931 Chevy car for Mom to drive, and took the good car.  He was rehired by the American Salt Plant, but he’d lost his seniority, and had to take the night shift.  He said he didn’t mind because he’d always hated getting up in the mornings.

The above has been written from what I remember… I was barely 13.  So a few weeks ago, I emailed the photo of the old house to my siblings, telling them what I remembered:  watching the skies for UFOs, exploring the small cemetery nearby, and enjoying our tiny baby sister.  I told Carl, Leon and Norman that I was sure they had different memories than mine, and was I right! 

A lot of the farming had to be done by Carl, who was 15.  He milked all the cows, and even tried to milk two at once, which seemed not to have been a good idea.  It was windy on the hill where the house sat, and once a west wall nearly blew in, but Dad and the boys shoved a bed against it and stopped it.  Norman recalled my first effort to make biscuits, which I’d just as soon forget!  Have you ever heard of “hard tacks”?

We were still there when school started, so we were enrolled in Jewell County schools for six weeks before Dad found a house in Lyons.  Carl rode a bus to Mankato High School, and Leon, Norman and I rode another bus to Montrose.  I’m not going to recount our separate experiences … needless to say, we were glad to get back home to Lyons!

After thinking about the 6 months we spent there, I am more aware than ever before that “memories” are individual things.  Mine spring from my experiences and feelings, and yours spring from your own experiences and feelings.  There are no such things as “group memories,” they are all individual.  So if you remember something, and I don’t – that shouldn’t come as a surprise, because we each see and feel things differently.  16-Oct-13

 Reunions

September saw a couple of family reunions in my family.  We Seaton “Kids” (originally from Lyons KS) all went to my older brother Carl’s home in Tulsa OK.  He lives in University Village Retirement Community, a very nice, very large place.  He has a Jazzy motorized wheelchair, so he got it out of storage for me to use.  At first I thought I didn’t need it, but when I saw the long halls, I changed my mind.  It was fun to use and I didn’t run over anyone or into any walls. LOL. Not having to walk so far enabled me to be less tired. 

Those present included Carl Seaton, host. Julie and Ken Miller. Lori Thrasher. Marge Seaton Marshall. Janet Marshall. Leon & Roberta Seaton. Leann & Steve Laubach.  Norman & Sharon Seaton. Pat Seaton Crawford. Sarah & Steve Tharp and their children, Elizabeth, Taylor and Chloe. For our actual reunion, we all went to the Club House, a free-standing building, complete with a kitchen.  That way we didn’t disturb the neighbors – a good thing because some of us can’t hear very well (I’m not going to name anyone… huh? what did you say?)  The gals put together a delicious collection of food.  And we sang some of our parents’ favorite old songs, “Amazing Grace,” “I Don’t Know About Tomorrow,” “Farther Along,” and so on.  Leon read all the words to an old folk song, “Barbr’y Allen,” which Dad and Mom sang to each of us as they would rock us to sleep.  It wasn’t written as a lullaby, but it worked because it was so monotonous.  I remember when Mom rocked Pat (the youngest), the one who went to sleep was Mom.  We Kids didn’t dare to sing it, lest we all drop off to sleep!

Mom has been in heaven for 9 years now… but sometimes she seems to be in my mirror.  Dad has been there for 31 years.  Both passed away on April 1.

The other reunion took place in Europe.  My son David and his wife Shannon celebrated their 29^th wedding anniversary with a trip to Scotland then on to Germany and several nearby countries.  Their son, Branin Marshall, went along and so did their daughter & son-in-law, Halee & Marshall Holland, who are stationed in Germany. Both Branin and Marshall are in the US Air Force.  They all took plenty of photos and put them on Facebook so I almost felt like I was there.  The special part of being in Scotland was when they saw Queen Elizabeth II, Prince Philip, and Prince Charles as they rode in their limo to the annual Braemar Highland Games. 

As is written on the reverse side of the banner welcoming people to the Games, “Haste Ye Back.” 
28-Sep-13

 Musings

The ladies at Jesus’ tomb didn’t come there to become heralds of Christ’s resurrection. But they were in the right place at the right time because the love in their hearts brought them there.  If we have love for the souls of others, we’ll be often near them, showing love in whatever ways we can – usually quietly and unobtrusively, being friendly and open to them. Then when God has them ready for us to say or do that right thing, we will be there at the right time.

During the years when we had old-fashion Christmas trees, Howard would go through the “ritual” of straightening the wires of the light bulbs.  I was much too impatient to go through that.  But now I must do the same sort of thing when I have to untangle computer-related wires. Sometimes Janet graciously helps me.  It seems to be the nature of wires to become tangled at the least opportunity!

Marriage is similar to wiring – wife’s wires mingle with husband’s as they become “one.”  Eventually, it would be a task to un-mingle them. Their thoughts are for each other, not just for themselves. Their memories are shared; their ideas blend; they finish each other’s sentences (although often incorrectly!).

 “…until death do us part.”  That happened to us in December 2012.  The Lord is the One helping me sort things out, not my husband, and the Lord is giving me the tools I need.  Psalm 68:5 (The Message) says, “Father of orphans, champion of widows, is God in His holy house.”  I’m in the right place at the right time!       1-Sep-13

 Mixed Emotions

This morning Janet drove us out to Gardner to the church attended by my granddaughter and her family, Kari & Andy Davis.  One of their sons, 13-year-old Justen, was baptized along with 11 other young people.  It was a joyful occasion for all of us because it was an expression of their faith in Jesus Christ.  Justen was first in line, and I was so proud of him.  As the others were each baptized, I wished Howard could be there to see them. 

Then my tears began to flow as I pictured him doing the same thing for young people in Alaska.  He had the privilege of baptizing many people during his years as a pastor, but the most recent ones were in Alakanuk, Emmonak, and Klawock, AK.  And I think they were the most meaningful, because most of them were young and Howard loved kids.  We have photos of those, so it was easy for me to see them in my mind’s eye.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if somehow Howard in heaven could have looked down into the church and see what was happening?  He would have raised his hands in praise as he worshipped God with all the saints and angels in heaven.  18-Aug-13

Bridal

During the phone call on January 17, 1952, after I said "Yes" and "Ditto" I asked "When?" Howard replied, "How about July?" and I was thrilled to hear it. Then he told me he would mail my engagement ring to me. It came in a week or so. It was/is so pretty! (It is now attached to my wedding ring - I only wear them once a year on our anniversary because they're so fragile. When we renewed our vows in 2002, he placed a simple gold band on my finger.) I was 18 and Howard was 21.

On Tuesday evening, June 10, he phoned again and asked "How soon can you be ready for the wedding? I'm getting an early leave." I said, "As soon as you get here!" Friday morning, June 13, I get another call - this time from his parents' home there in Lyons. He had hitch-hiked from San Diego CA, in less time than a train or bus would have taken.

I had no idea how to put things together - my dad saw no sense in a fancy wedding, although he finally consented to give me away. My sweet friends took matters in hand, even giving me a couple of showers. Maxine loaned me her wedding gown and Carol loaned me her veil. My colors were "rainbow" because the girls all wore their formals from the Junior-Senior Banquet. My maid-of-honor was Jo Ann. Howard's best-man was his brother-in-law Elmer, because my brother Carl, Howard's best friend, was in the Army. (When we renewed our vows, Carl got to be there.)

Howard paid for the invitations, purchased the flowers and hired the photographer. It all cost about $50.00; prices were much lower in 1952 than now. (And so were paychecks.)

Ten days after he arrived in Lyons, we were married. What a wedding it was - hot! No air-conditioning. So hot that our candles melted during the ceremony. The bride and groom were melting too -- me in a long-sleeved satin gown and Howard in a gray flannel suit and long-sleeved white shirt, with a maroon tie. The groom's gift to the bride was a three-strand pearl necklace. The bride carried yellow roses on a borrowed white Bible. (The gold ring I placed on his finger I now wear on a necklace.)

On Friday afternoon, June 27, we left on a Santa Fe streamliner for San Diego, California. We boarded the train in Sterling, 8 miles south of Lyons. I was so excited about leaving that I kept running out on the tracks trying to spot the engine as it came from Hutchinson. When we (finally!) boarded, we had to stand for several hours because the train was so crowded -- the Korean conflict was in process and many armed service personnel were aboard. (Howard wouldn't wear his uniform -- he didn't want to have to salute anyone!)

I thought it was funny that when the train reached the Los Angeles area, it backed all the way to San Diego! (Nowadays, there are engines on both ends of a passenger train, so there is no need for them to reverse or turn around.)

We arrived in San Diego late Sunday morning, June 29. We took a taxi to the Churchill Hotel. While Howard took his suit down to be pressed, I laid on the bed and fell sound asleep, so soundly that Howard couldn't rouse me by pounding on the door. So he went down and asked the desk to call the room. Awakened, I was frightened for a few seconds because I couldn't find Howard. But when he knocked again, I let him in, and everything was okay.

I had worn my school shoes and anklets for comfort on the long train trip, and after sitting so long, my ankles were swollen. So when I went to church that evening, I was wearing really baggy socks. And sitting in that small church, I felt like I was still on the train!

In case you were wondering, the reason my rings fit me perfectly was because Howard had put my Senior class ring on his little finger to check the size. When he came to see me for Christmas 1951, I had taken it off while I was washing dishes. My mom hung it on a string, making a temporary necklace for him, pronouncing him to be my boyfriend.  Now you know where I got my quirky sense of humor!   17-Jul-13

Pep Story

I saw a TV commercial recently about the Pep Boys auto store. Lots of times when I see three men on TV, for any purpose, "Manny, Moe and Jack" pops into my mind. (Have I mentioned I have a quirky sense of humor?) When Larry and Janet were very young, we lived on 43^rd Street in San Diego, and our phone number was one digit different from the Pep Boys number, so I answered quite a few wrong numbers, and saw a lot of Pep Boys ads. Howard was working for a moving company and we helped out at Layne's Hospitality Home for Servicemen.

Fast forward to 1992. David & Shannon, Branin and Halee had spent three years in St. Joseph MO, while David served as a Navy recruiter, and it was time for him to go back to his next assignment to a submarine. They had two vehicles and two little kids, so naturally I was quite willing to take vacation time to travel with them to Charleston SC. By way of Walt Disney World, of course. Shannon's mother Sharon had been widowed the year before, so Shannon wanted to have her join us and she flew in from Alaska. We moms enjoyed getting to know each other.

Resuming our journey north on Interstate Highway 95, as we were traveling through Jacksonville, Florida, the car Shannon was driving suddenly died, right in the middle of the evening rush hour traffic. Scary! Sharon and I were with Shannon, and David was ahead of us with the two kids. With the power off, we couldn't contact David on the CB Radio. What a blessing that a police car soon pulled up alongside of us! The officer took us to a tow truck station and Shannon and I rode with the driver to tow us to Pep Boys (at my request because that was the only familiar name I recognized on his list.)

In the meantime, David realized he couldn't see us following him, so he was getting nervous. He found a phone booth and called Shannon's cousin in Georgia to see if she had heard from Shannon; and she hadn't. So David stayed by the phone booth, because he knew Shannon would eventually call Robin. Once we got to Pep Boys, Shannon phoned Robin, and so David came to be with us at the Manny, Moe & Jack garage.

What a difference between 1992 and now -- we sure could have used cell phones back then!

If you're interested, here is the Pep Boys story: www.pepboys.com/about_pep_boys/inside_pep_boys/the_pep_boys_story/.       9-Jul-13

July Fourth Notes

Living in the small town of Lyons KS, we led a sheltered life, so to me, World War 2 was sort of a glamorous, far-off adventure. My dad worked at the American Salt Plant. He was just old enough that he wasn't drafted, and I always had mixed emotions about it -- I didn't want him to leave, but I was sorry he was missing out on the adventure. He and Mom would worry about it, though, because the Draft Board would move the age level, but before they got to him, he'd have another birthday. So he ended up 4F, whatever that meant. But he did get to be an air-raid warden. We'd put up dark blankets over our windows during black-outs, and he'd go around checking all the houses on our square block to make sure no lights would give us away to the enemy. I did wonder just why the enemy would be flying over our town, because I knew we were a long way from the ocean. I think that must have been in the early part of the war -- I guess the authorities must have panicked.

I was in the second grade when Pearl Harbor was bombed, but I don't recall hearing about it at the time. I played WAC (Women's Army Corps). Someone had given me a brown skirt and blouse and to me they looked like a uniform, and I marched around proudly in it. I probably didn't look very military -- I was so little the skirt kept sliding down -- but I felt truly patriotic.

When I was in the third grade, which would have been the 1942-43 school year, daylight saving time was introduced. The parents of everyone in my class remembered to change their clocks, except Wanda's -- she had such an astonished look on her face when she opened the classroom door and we were already having school. During that year, we prepared crossword puzzles for the wounded in hospitals. On 5" x 7" posterboards, we pasted the puzzle on one side and the answer on the back. We bought savings stamps at school, and I believe my older brother and I eventually were able to buy a war bond. My dad bought bonds, considering it his patriotic duty.

We did without some things during the war. There was food rationing. Mom had a hard time canning her usual amount of tomatoes and fruit, because sugar was rationed. Car tires were rationed because of the shortage of rubber. I think Dad would go down to the Rice County Court House or maybe one of the schools to get our share of rationing stamps.

My family gathered scrap metal and saved paper, because they were needed in the war effort. We only had one clock, and the hands both broke off, and for a while, we couldn't get another. Fortunately it was summer. Once we were an hour early for Sunday School because it was hard to tell time by the bump where the little hand had been. One of the more famous shortages was of copper. That was why they made lead pennies one year. They are all worth more than 1-cent nowadays!

At school, we always used the backs of each sheet of paper, because to do otherwise was to hurt the war effort. And we tried to be careful what we talked about, because "Loose lips sink ships." One company in town made airplane parts, so it was important that we be careful!

They didn't make any new cars from 1942 until 1946, but that didn't have an effect on us. We had a good car, a 1938 Chevrolet. What did affect us was the 35 M.P.H. speed limit and the fact that gasoline was rationed. In 1943, Mom and we four children drove all the way to Lawrence, Kansas, to see her mother. Part of the reason it seemed so far was that we had to drive so slowly -- it took all day.

It must have been in 1944 that we got a game that made my brothers and I feel a real part of the war effort. It had silhouettes of airplanes on little cards. So when we looked up and saw planes flying in formation, we could tell if they were ours or theirs! It was easy to identify a Lockheed Lightning, because it had two fuselages. But we never did see a Fokwulf or Messerschmidt!

Both the Santa Fe and Missouri Pacific railroads went through Lyons, and so there were troop trains. On Highway 50N (now 56), convoys of Army trucks went by. Howard remembers that there were many hitch-hikers along the highway, and that someone threw gospel tracts wrapped in cellophane along the road, hoping passersby would pick them up to read. People walked where they could, and shared rides where they could -- car-pooling was in use back then, only the name is new.

There were movies at the Star Theater that showed newsreels, short subjects, and war movies. I'm sure they shaped our ideas of war. For example, the dive bomb sound: a descending whistle ending with the sound of an explosion. And there were adventure books we were given for Christmas. I remember one about a handsome flyer and his sidekick. They'd get into aerial dogfights, and the sidekick would talk about "them spalpeens"! We read comic books (but we called them "funny books") and of course all the super heroes were clad in red, white and blue. My favorite, naturally, was Wonder Woman.

To us children, the war was fought for clear reasons: we were the good guys, they were the bad. Only one of my classmates, Joyce, had a dad that was young enough to go to war, and none of us had brothers in the service, that I remember, so it wasn't frightening to us. I remember a "theological" discussion with some kids in Sunday School, about whether or not an American killed in action would go to heaven even if he was a sinner -- our conclusion was that of course God would let all heroes in. We had heard of Captain Eddie Rickenbacker, a real hero.

The nearest the war came to me, personally, was in 1944, when one of my cousins from Missouri, Ray, joined the Navy. He fought the battle of Hastings... Nebraska. He used to hitch-hike to Lyons on a weekend, and then we'd take him to Hoisington, Kansas, to take a train back to Hastings. There were families in town with members in the service. In their windows you would see little red, white and blue flags, with a star for every soldier or sailor in the Armed Forces. And at some point, I can't remember when, "V for Victory" banners began to be shown. And we used Morse code, for V: ...- ("Dot Dot Dot Dash")

I was aware that there were military bases in Kansas, Smoky Hill Air Base near Salina, the Naval Air Base at Hutchinson, and one at Great Bend, but to a young girl, that didn't seem all that close to Lyons. There was also a prisoner of war camp near Concordia, Kansas, but if I knew about it, it was only vaguely. We lived there in the late 60's, and I heard about its impact on the community.

We were also vaguely aware that some children in England had to leave their homes because of the war. I think that may have been why I requested an English pen pal in 1947, when our 8th grade geography teacher, Miss Sally Blakey, suggested the project. I've been writing to Kathleen Homer Green ever since; we actually met in 2002 when Howard and I went to England to visit her and her husband.

When I think of World War II, I always think of the death of The President, Franklin Delano Roosevelt. He had been President all my life, and it seemed unreal that he could die. I had just turned 11, and I guess it was my first introduction to the idea that leaders can and will fall, and that someone else will be there to pick up the standard. I also remember very clearly August 14, 1945, the day the war ended. Dad was out plowing a small plot of ground south of our house, and Mom was listening to the radio. She heard the news and called it to us kids, and I got to tell Dad. I ran barefoot down our driveway, across the little road, and into the freshly plowed field. Seeing me, Dad stopped the tractor, and let me climb up. And over the noise of the tractor's engine, I shouted in his ear, "The war's over!" He grinned, turned off the motor, and we raced back to the house to listen to the radio.          7-Jul-13

Peace

Peace was in short supply during the first weeks after Howard's death. I felt like there was a big hole in my life. I missed him so much, and had a difficult time envisioning what I would do without him. I read the Shepherd's Psalm every morning for a week or so, because I felt like I was walking through the valley of the shadow of death. Reading that the Lord was leading me beside still waters, restoring my soul, and leading me in paths of righteousness for His Name's sake began to calm me. But I still needed to find peace.

So for the next few weeks, I read and meditated on Philippians 4:4-7 every morning, focusing on what it says about "peace" in verse 7. All that time I kept reminding myself that the Lord declares that He has a plan of welfare and hope for my future (Jeremiah 29:11) and gradually peace came into my heart.

Even now, six months later, it will hit me again: my sweet husband is gone, and depressed feelings will begin coming in. So I go to Philippians 4:8 and it helps me re-focus. I am not a person who cries easily - I tend to keep the sadness in. So I'll watch a sentimental movie and shed my tears... I guess I'm a "sympathetic crier," because it helps. Fear for my future tries to sneak in as well, so I'm working at the take-it-a-day-at-a-time thing, as Jesus recommended in Matthew 6:34.

I've made posters of the scriptures from Jeremiah and Philippians and taped them to the wall so I can read them daily.  I can still quote the other two because I memorized them when I was young enough to do that sort of thing. 

As an introvert I tend to look back through the years and think about who I am, now that I'm alone and no longer a part of two. (Howard was definitely an extrovert; never met a stranger. As the saying goes, opposites attract.) Anyway, I remember wanting to be old enough to go to kindergarten. Really enjoyed it and going on through the elementary grades until I graduated from high school (I never again will be as smart as I thought I was then!) Within weeks, I had married Howard and began to realize how smart I wasn't! I looked forward to being with him; having a family and all that... But never did I plan what I would do without him.  3-Jul-13

Technology

The first thing to face a widow is paperwork! With so much on my mind, I wasn't able to concentrate very well, so I appreciated the efforts of my family to organize the paper work - gals, you know who you were. But I wanted to write some of the appreciation notes myself - it was hard to do, but worth the effort. Janet's hard work was/is with the beautiful plants we brought home with us... the flowers were placed in various rooms around Northland Cathedral.

Then I tackled the checkbooks. Howard used one bank, and I used another. The difficulty was in doing the math in the check registers. I'd think one thing and write another. So I began using the electronic spreadsheet in my computer to double-check the figures. That worked well. Never printed them because they would have been really long!

Ah, computers, printers, and cell phones. Well, at least they took my mind off sad matters by adding more confusion. We had a small cell phone for several years and Howard used it for long-distance calls. Our TV/Internet/Digital Phone setup was that the phone was for local calls. I'm not much of a phone call person... in my early teen years we didn't have a phone (post-World War 2 years) then when we finally got one, my dad limited calls to five-minutes or less, so I never developed the habit of visiting over the phone. Well, I should mention that I received an important phone call on January 17, 1952 when Howard the Sailor called from California to propose to me. Of course I said "Yes" and then he said "I love you!" I wanted to say that too, but I knew my two kid brothers were listening and would tease me unmercifully, so I just said "Ditto!" Howard always liked to tell that story, and had a good laugh every time.

So, very soon, Janet took me to the AT&T store and I upgraded my plan to the iPhone so that I can text my family. My hearing is poor so I'm unable to carry on a decent conversation on a cell phone. People call me on our land-line and I turn on the speaker phone so I can hear them. Except for the hearing part, I like the iPhone. If I play music it's very loud. Too bad Apple can't apply the same thing to the telephone speaker system.  (Note; I finally thought maybe I could get some assistance, so we went to the AT&T store, and the technician showed me how to get more volume, so I'm hearing better now.)  I like playing with the GPS maps when I'm in the car.  When I'm in the house, the iPhone connects with our router.

I do a lot of work on my laptop computer, and it was getting old, so I had begun copying our photos and important files to a large-capacity flash drive (a "thumb drive"). I was glad to have them available as my laptop began to fail. About that time, I called our TV cable provider to see how much more it would cost monthly to speed up my Internet connection. The customer agent said there was a special I could take advantage of, so I did. Faster internet and nationwide telephone service! What a deal! I told Larry about it and he warned me that with my old laptop and our old desktop computer I wouldn't be able to get the speed I was paying for (which, by the way, costs less than the other setup did.) I think Time-Warner is competing with the new Google Fiber network.

So early in March, I sent Jan and my credit card to Micro Center to purchase a new Dell Inspiron 15 laptop. (I gave up my driver's license in 2010 because I got confused once, and traffic nowadays is no place for a confused driver!) I like to play around with new computers, but getting used to this one was confusing and exhausting to figure out. The operating system is Windows 8. Ugh!

If I had simply wanted a new computer, it wouldn't have been the problem it turned out to be, even though it is a totally new operating system and not at all like Windows XP. My problems were related to my need to replicate my old computer. Learning to navigate it was akin to going into a cornfield maze in October and a thick cloud suddenly hides the moonlight. Or trying to walk across Grand Canyon on a tight-rope. Or wading in a muddy creek. Help files were commercials about the wonderful things Windows 8 is capable of - while I was thinking "but HOW do you do it?" New computers cost less now, but if you're upgrading, be prepared to purchase new versions of your favorite software. And decoding some of the instructions that come with them. For example, trying to import my contacts list into the new email software is another maze. Talk about information overload! I'm still working on that one... currently I get a last name and two copies of the email address.

By the way, my old laptop finally went "belly up." Sometimes I use Howard's old desktop computer, but basically it's the Dell Laptop and Windows 8 all the way. (That version was replaced by Windows 10, which is even more confusing.)

I'm really not complaining about "technology" because I benefit from it a lot. I'm house-bound because of debilitating Fibromyalgia, but I have graduated from a walker to a quad-cane. Even so it's very difficult to get around. My dear daughter gets me out of the house at least once a week, usually for lunch. But then it takes me 4 or 5 hours to recover, and I may have developed the Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Some of the things I have a hard time figuring out may be related to the Fibromyalgia, which produces "Fibro-fog," which slows my thinking processes and short-term memory.

So I'm not able to go to church. I appreciate getting to hear Pastor Harrup's sermons on www.northlandcathedral.org 

27-Jun-13         Back to top

Back at home, I think I just went into a daze, shock, or whatever. We had discussed what might happen "someday" and decided on cremation for both of us, and we had updated our wills a couple of years before. But when reality hit, I was numb.

I was, and am, very proud of Janet. She knew what she had to do, and did it, even though she was suffering too, because she was not able to help her beloved dad. She phoned my granddaughter Kari, who arrived to be with me before Jan got home. Kari just moved in for several days and was such a comfort to have here. Larry and David went with me to the funeral home and helped me with the necessary details. The funeral director gave me Howard's wedding ring - the best $12.00 I've ever spent.

Larry & Renee and David & Shannon drove in from NM and VA, respectively, and on Monday, we all met with Pastor Lowell Harrup at Northland Cathedral to plan the Memorial Service, which was held on Wednesday, December 12. I wrote the obituary used in the service. Most of the details are in my memory notebook, so I won't repeat them here. I am blessed with a wonderful family and many friends.

After everyone else had gone home, Janet and I began to adjust to life without Dad. Even her dog Buddy had adjustments to make. He adopted "Grandpa's" recliner as his own. I started calling myself "granny" to him, so that he wouldn't look at the front door, expecting to see Grandpa.